Living my dreams again

I am no longer a working mother! Yay! I have my Benjamin to thank for that. He wants me to be able to stay at home with the kids and for that I am so very grateful! I had my last day of work on May 13 and have LOVED the last two days! It's been so nice to be able to get the kids ready for school without worrying about getting myself ready at the same time. I have free time and time to do some projects and start packing up things to be ready to move things a month from tomorrow. Also a month from tomorrow will be Kyler's baptism! I cannot believe that my baby is turning 8! He is ready though. He has such faith for one so young and he helps me learn more about faith and prayer most every day. Thank goodness for love, dreams, faith, and the gospel!

Wow! It's been too long!

I have neglected this blog terribly. I need to be better about coming and expressing my gratitude for everyday things in my life.

The best thing to happen to me in years has happened. I am engaged to a wonderful man! Benjamin! Yay! He's got two cute little boys and I love them all to death. He loves my kids and wants to take care of us and I couldn't be happier. Sealing things are underway so that we can be cleared to be sealed in the temple. We are hoping and planning for June 25! Hooray!

I'm thankful for you my Benjamin!

Good teachers

I need to be more grateful so I'm trying  :)

Yesterday was the first day of school for the year. I am so grateful for the spectacular teachers that my kids are blessed to get every year. Kamaryn's kindergarten teacher is the same lady that taught me in 6th grade and it's great to know and trust the teachers that your child gets in school. Kyler's teacher taught 3 of my sibblings as well. I know they will be taught and loved by their teachers and I'm so thankful for that!

Mattress

I have been TERRIBLE at counting my blessings and I think that's contributing to my feeling down lately... that and my lack of exercise that I really need to fix. But anywho......

Here's my latest very obvious blessing. I recently bought a set of bunk beds that was an awesome deal. I realized that I was short a twin mattress because Ashton has been using the crib mattress and toddler bed. So I found a "mattress" for sale at a local store and got a rain check for it so they could order it for me. Fast forward a month later... I call them to find out if it's in or what's going on. They said it's in so I arrange to borrow dad's truck to pick it up the next day on my lunch break. I go to get it and it's this big, rolled up, blue THING! Long story short.... NOT the "mattress" I was expecting so I told them I didn't want it. I told my story at work later and to a few people. One lady at work told me she was getting a new bed and asked me if I wanted her old mattress! WHOOHOOO! Such a huge love note! Exactly what I needed at exactly the right time! She's the sweetest lady anyway... just love her! I also got the hardware manager at work to cut me a piece of plywood to use for a mattress support for Ashton's bed. They don't usually cut plywood there but he found a way to do it for me and even delivered it to my house! Thanks Jamy, it's perfect!

And now tonight the bedroom is like new with fresh, cute bunk beds and a big boy bed for my big boy Ash!

People who care

Yesterday at church I was feeling a little bit down and overwhelmed with my trials and things. Along with our lesson about Joseph (talking about how we deal with our own trials) which was wonderful and helped me a lot, a member of the RS presidency was talking to me about work. She asked how much I work and if I like the insanity of the schedule and hours. I was blunt and said, "no, I hate it." You have to tell the truth at church right?? :)  Anyway... she was mentioning how her husband is always looking out for something I might be able to do and that they are always praying for me. It really helped me feel loved and cared about. Sometimes I feel alone and that no one understands or thinks about me but she helped me remember that they do. It helps but things into perspective and it made me feel really good. Thanks S and R!

A Great Friend

This week my parents went out of town and I, of course, had to work. So I needed to find someone to watch the kiddos. :(  I always think of the same person. She's our primary president and neighbor. She's got a little girl that is Kyler's age and 2 boys. They play well together. She's always so willing to help me when I'm in need. She's been taking such great care of my kids that Kamaryn doesn't want to come home when I go to pick them up after work. It's so hard being a working mom but like I told her in my thank you note... it's because of wonderful people like her that it's even possible!  I hope she knows how very much I appreciate her help and her willingness and kindness. And to top it off she called later tonight to let me know that she was worried about me. I had expressed some sadness I guess you'd call it and she is so incredibly sensitive to the spirit that she called to make sure I was alright. I wish I had more time to spend talking with her. Maybe I'll have to make some.

Thanks so much Julie! You are a true friend!

M y Sweet Girl

My sweet Kamaryn turned 5 today! Where on earth did the time go???? It is just crazy how fast the time flies by. I can't believe she will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. She's been having a blast in preschool since she started in October and making lots of friends and becoming quite the social butterfly. She is very sensitive if something hurts her feelings. She is very stubborn and strong willed as well and most instances its "her way or the highway".... so not kidding!!!! It's insane... hee hee. But I love her to pieces and wouldn't trade her for anything in this world!

Happy Birthday princess!

I decided....

.... that I have been way too whiny in my life lately :)  So I am going to decide every day to be happy for that day. One day at a time.... right?

Here are the positives for today...
+ Sunshine, blessed sunshine *are you singing yet*
+ I got to work with some fun people at work today
+ My kids cleaned up without fighting or whining
+ I got some fresh homemade salsa from work.... they make it right in the produce department and it's absolutely to die for! Tastes a bit different every time and I love it. And thankfully for me it also is working as a decongestant. ;)

On to Wednesday....

Today...

Today...

+ I didn't have to wear my sweater outside :)
+ I worked with some fun people today
+ Kyler got his 3rd quarter reading goal!

I am really trying hard to focus on the positive... the little blessings in my life, no matter how small. Some days it's hard and some days it's easy but it helps keep me plugging along.

It's been a LONG time....

And I've decided to be more positive... I've got to or I will certainly and without fail... GO COMPLETELY CRAZY! Hee hee.

So today's positive things:

It was a gorgeous day with lots of sunshine.
It wasn't busy at work with me as the only closer.
Ashton pooped in the potty while I was at work!!!! :)


Bring on tomorrow.....

Miracles...

I have much to say... hee hee. It's been a while since I had much to say so it's nice. A friend told me in a recently to pray for a miracle. I took her advice and did so.... not knowing the blessings that would come in the next 3 days.

First: Kyler felt better the day after he had the blessing and I asked you guys to pray for him. He has been back to his old self since.

Second: On tuesday night I was finishing up my shift at work. We have to take our drawers upstairs to count them and then come back down to make sure they balance. When I came back down stairs to settle my drawer I noticed a cart by the service desk and it had a bunch of presents in it. I thought, "oh, that's cool." I put my drawer down and the lady at courtesy told me to look at the box. On the side there was a note that reads:

Dear April and kids,

" We hope you are having a wonderful holiday season and hope that over the next 12 days we can help to make it even better. Each gift has the day to open it attached. Have fun, laugh and play.... It's Christmas! "

The box is full of gifts to open from the 13th to the 24th. And no one will tell me who's idea it was... grr... hee hee.

Third: Last night at work I closed with a cute girl that is a year younger than my brother. She's really fun and it's hilarious to relive high school dramatics through her... hee hee. Anyway.... she told me not to leave without getting my present from her. I told her that she didn't need to get me anything but she said she wanted to anyway. So I kept wondering what it was... thinking some chocolate or a mt. dew or something that she knows I like. After we close she gave me my gift.... a gift certificate for a $30 hair cut at the place that she gets hers done... she's told me about it before. And then she handed me a card too. When I got home I opened the card and immediately gasped as I saw $250 inside! Her family had decided to do something for me and they gave me $250! I BAWLED!!!

It's so overwhelming but I count those blessings as blessings for others as well. I am so grateful!

A loving Heavenly Father

I have a friend that was very recently extremely close to death. It has really made me feel grateful for the love and mercy of our Heavenly Father. There is no medical or scientific reason to explain why my friend is still here on this earth today. I am very grateful for that mercy and love and will thank Him every day of my life for those things. I also thank him often for the gift of my best friend! I wish I were close enough to go visit her or help with her children while she has to be in the hospital but I pray for her and think of her constantly. I am so grateful for the doctors that are helping her to get better and for Heavenly Father's love for her as well. I love you Hillary!

The Gift of the Holy Ghost

I am more grateful every day for the gift of the Holy Ghost. At just the time when I feel like I just can't take anymore, can't carry my load, can't be as good a mother as I want to be.... I always feel peace in comfort inside. The calm reassurance that things will be ok, that I am a good mother despite struggles at times, and that I don't have to carry my load alone. I am also eternally grateful for the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. If it weren't for him there would be no one to truly understand our pain and suffering. I am grateful that He knows how to help carry me through my trials and hard times.

A Small Miracle

Today something amazing happened and I don't hesitate to call it a miracle and a wonderful blessing. Kyler and Kamaryn had dentist appointments today. If any of you know my daughter, you know that she doesn't really like strangers or strange things and really hates going to the doctor and things like that. So you can't be surprised when I tell you I was terrified that she would make a huge scene at the dentist. So I was apprehensive when we got there. I had talked it up completely for about 3 days about what they would do and how fun it would be. Apparently.... it worked! We got to the office and they hygienist says, "who wants to go first?" Kamaryn.... yes, Kamaryn volunteered! Can you believe it?! I was shocked. There was shock number one. Then she actually climbed right into the chair. When we've gone to the ENT she makes me hold her so I was again astonished that she actually climbed in herself. She had a lovely new tv with Sponge Bob on it (something I never let them watch but I think it helped in this case). She was introduced to all the tools they would use, she had her teeth painted purple, brushed, polished, counted. She only seemed nervous once! Shock number...... I can't even remember. I was amazed and so excited that she actually did it. She did a great job and was a perfect patient!! Yay Kamaryn! (little miss shiny teeth)

A positive balance in the checkbook, etc.

Well, today is a rare occurrence for me. I have just finished paying bills (sure hope I got them all) and the balance in my checkbook is still POSITIVE!!! Woot! And that is on top of having almost $200 less in my paycheck because of the Christmas break. I hope I can keep this up. Now my dilemma is whether to start paying off the credit card debt or save for 2 months and enroll in a medical transcription program.... I have to decide soon. I hate decisions sometimes.

I am thankful for warmth. Our heater has been not fully functional for over 2 weeks now. The previous post about being thankful for heat has been knocked from its place. I am grateful for heat but that post was about it being back. It worked that night and then the next day it started acting up again. It hasn't worked right since and we have had below zero night temps for 3 days this week. And let me tell you... 52 degrees outside might feel just perfectly dandy. But 52 degrees inside the house in the middle of winter is not quite so pleasant. So I am grateful today for long sleeves, sweatshirts, socks, slippers, blankets, warm jammies for the kids, and hot rice bags in bed with you. I am afraid when it finally works right that I'll be feeling sweaty at 70 degrees :)

I am grateful for the blessing of friends and family. I know I've said this before but without their support I would not be doing as well as I am. Thinks would be a lot harder to get through and I'm extremely grateful for all of the love and support and listening ears! Thanks everyone!

A good birthday

Today is my birthday. It was a pretty low-key but nice day. I went to work and took a bunch of candy for *birthday treats* and shared with all three Kindergarten classes. They absolutely loved that! I came home and hung out for a while and had pizza for dinner, courtesy of dad. Christena came over with her kids and we had cake and ice cream. My mom got me flowers and a card and she bought me a book for my kids to give me. Kyler sang to me and played birthday songs on the piano too. It was a fun day and I quite enjoyed it. :)

Heat

After nearly 48 hours without a functioning furnace I am very grateful for heat! We haven't frozen to death by any means and it's been nice to bundle up in sweatshirts inside but it's so nice to have the heat back on. Whew!

Back to work

I am grateful to be back to work. Two weeks is a LONG time to be off. And also a missing amount of money. But I started back today and I'm glad. I enjoy being out of the house and able to have a few conversations with other adults. I also enjoy helping the kids learn. And it also keeps my mind busy and I feel happier. So I'm grateful that I'm back at work. And also grateful that Kyler is back to school. He's much easier to deal with ;)

Update to my last post

I received a second "Christmas Jar" on Christmas Eve. It was a really cute jar that had been decorated and had a ribbon and said... TO: April FROM: Santa. The Lord works in mysterious ways, that's for sure. When I counted it a few days later it contained $118.05 mostly in change. I am definitely so blessed!

So blessed

I haven't posted for a little while and I have received many blessings. When I moved here all of the ladies in the ward were reading The Christmas Jar. I'd never read it before so I borrowed one and read it. It was a great book about giving to others and generosity and love for others. In it a family decided one Christmas to save their change in a jar and then give the jar to someone for Christmas. By the end of the book, the "Christmas Jar" had come full circle. The woman they gave the first jar to ended up bringing them one in the end. Anyway... I have a point... :) A few weeks ago a lady from my ward came to the door and asked for me. When I got to the door she handed me a small jar full of change. She said she wanted to give me her "Christmas Jar" because she felt like I was amazing and trying so hard to be a good example to my kids. I was surprised and extremely grateful. When I counted the money there were a $50 bill and 2 $20 bills in the jar along with the change. It was a total of over $120. It was immediately appreciated and most of it used. I can't thank her enough for thinking of me.

Since the 12th of December I've also been blessed to receive a small gift and story each night. Someone chose my little family to do The Twelve Days of Christmas for. It's been fun and exciting to wait for the doorbell each night. I hope in two days I will be able to find out who the sweet little elves are :)

And then tonight. I had already received my little gift for the day and the doorbell rang so we knew it was a person... hee hee. My dad answered the door and then said it was for me. I went to the door and our bishop was standing there with an envelope. He said the Stake President had given it to him and said that every year someone in the community is very generous and ask each ward to choose someone to give it to. I was again overwhelmed. He left and I opened the card to find $500 cash inside it. I promptly went into my room and had a good cry and a prayer of thanks.

It's just so amazing to realize that people are thinking of me more than I know. That people are aware of my and my situation and want to help me out. I know I am so greatly blessed and I am so very grateful for every single one.